In general, it is my policy to avoid referencing people by actual name or image, but by whatever moniker or representation they may offer to the world on their own blogs. However, since the inaccuracy of the following representation does indeed preserve anonymity, I think an exception is justified. Without further ado, I give you… THE FORESTER!!TheImpossibleTrick.jpg

The main source of inaccuracy in the provided high-resolution scan is that The Forester is wearing shoes (other than that, it's a stunning likeness). You see, The Forester (and apparently others in the same freakishly shallow corner of the gene pool) has a fascinating ability to make footfists. That is to say, his feet bend fully at all the extra tarsal joints that we forget exist , since they are buried deep inside our footflesh (unlike our fingers, which have many joints exposed to the air).

Not only is The Forester capable of making footfists, he shocks and awes audiences across the world by demonstrating his unique ability by jumping (barefoot) off of chairs, couches, tables, midgets (any surface between 12-36 inches high), to land on his footfists.

When The Forester visited my family, way back in the mid-90s (that must have been when you were on your way to China, right?), he apparently made a big impression on my then-homeschooling brother, who was inspired to capture the event for posterity, in the medium of Art Class Assignment.

Why The Forester denied himself fame and fortune of a world-reknowned circus freak, I'll never understand.


9 Responses

  1. Is he the missing link?

  2. Shhhhh… he’s very sensitive (and this explains his anti-Darwinistic fetish)!

  3. Ahh, you’re just jealous because God designed me better!

  4. I must be in beta.

  5. By the way, I’m not at all sensitive about the enhanced functionality of my feet — but I have to protest the cruel depiction of my malformed left leg.

    Nothing more from me. You’ll hear from the attorney I’ve asked to press libel charges.


  6. Hope you don’t mind that I revealed your name here. If so, let me know and I’ll change your name to Rudolfo.

  7. Would you please provide me with a password. I hate to miss out on anything!

  8. All who are entitled can reconstruct the password themselves using the “family” page link up yonder, but I’ll send you an email too…

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